Learning to Love Who You Were

Side rear-view mirror in car, looking back on beautiful desert landscape behind transition

Transition, although it is a journey, not a switch, does, in some ways, go from us being in a place we don’t like, don’t want to be in, and another – a place where we feel good about who we are, and where we are going.

In that old place, we probably didn’t like, or even hated, being the gender we were assigned at birth. We perhaps hated our bodies, or hated our clothing. Perhaps we hated the way we had to dress, or act. And even if it wasn’t as strong as hate, it was clearly strong enough to motivate us to make a big change in our lives – change in presentation, in name, and perhaps involved surgery and hormones.

And after transition, it’s really easy for us to leave that part behind, look back with relief that we’re not there anymore, and dismiss that part of our lives.

But it’s really important to remember that the person we were is actually the person who made the decision to change. The person we were went through so much struggle and pain. The person we were dealt with living a life that didn’t feel right. That person we were was strong and brave. And that person we were is still with us, no matter what.

Learning to love the person we were is part of learning to love ourselves completely. We can’t love who we are now, without loving who we were.

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