Trans Resilience is…
I love the word “resilience.” Webster’s has two definitions. The first is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” The second one is more interesting: “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.” At first look, it seems likeContinue reading “What is “trans resilience”?”
As a young adult, I often didn’t know what I was feeling. I didn’t learn what my feelings were, or what to do with them, well into my adulthood. And interestingly, transition has helped me both be more in touch with my feelings, but also to take them more in stride than I used to.Continue reading “Do You Know What You Are Feeling?”
I often teach two specific forms of Buddhist contemplative practice, Metta (the pali word for lovingkindness) and Karuna (the pali word for compassion.) The Metta practice I teach is geared toward developing lovingkindness toward ourselves. The Karuna practice is geared toward developing self-compassion. They are very similar ideas, but slightly different practices. And some peopleContinue reading “Contemplative Practices to Build Self-love and Self-compassion”
When we are young, the first place we look toward for validation is our parents and family. If we have a functional family, we get confirmation that we are lovable and loved, and that helps to define a healthy sense of self. It is a natural human habit to look to others, whether family, friends,Continue reading “Validation as a Trans & Gender-expansive Person”
It would be great, if under any circumstances, we could say exactly how we feel, set any boundaries we need to set, and be completely authentic in our lives at every moment. The reality is that for many people, including a lot of trans and gender expansive people, we have to balance our own innerContinue reading “Navigating Practical Reality”
Conscious embodiment is a process, not a destination. Most of us will probably never become fully consciously embodied – but we can get very close. It’s especially hard for trans and gender-expansive people, because our bodies have so often been places of both inner and outer conflict. Are you aware of what’s happening in yourContinue reading “What is Conscious Embodiment?”
A lot of attention has been paid of late to the increased number of kids and teenagers who transition. What hasn’t been noticed as much is the increasing number of people who are over 40 or so who are transitioning now. I transitioned at 57, after a life-long struggle with loving my own body. ManyContinue reading “Coming Late to the Party: Transition Later in Life”
Many trans and gender expansive people have left the spiritual traditions they grew up in because they were rejected by them. And many have no interest in spiritual community at all – sometimes it’s because of the way they were harmed in the spiritual communities they inhabited, and sometimes it’s just something not of particularContinue reading “Finding Spiritual Community”
It’s not at all uncommon for trans and gender-expansive folks to have cis partners, as I do. Sometimes, navigating issues of gender with a cis partner can be complex, especially if that partner is one that was with you before transition. Talking About Gender I sometimes forget that I have no idea what it’s likeContinue reading “Do You Have a Cis Partner?”
One of the most common things that trans and gender expansive folks do is change our names. Changing our name is often a way of living more into our authentic selves. Some change names in a very minor way – just a letter or two to change from one that is generally associated with oneContinue reading “What’s in a Name?”
One of the truths about secondary sex characteristics is that very often, you can obviously see them. Another reality is that for many trans and gender-expansive folks, the presence of some characteristics, or the lack of others, makes us feel dysphoric. Unless and until we choose hormonal and/or surgical transition, it can be important toContinue reading “Binding, Tucking, & Prosthetics”
Relationship researcher John Gottman can identify relationships that will end by the presence of what he calls “The Four Horsemen.” The Four Horsemen of Christian Apocalyptic legend brought on the end of the world, and these four horsemen will bring on the end of your relationship, for sure. The Four Horsemen are: Criticism – thisContinue reading “The Four Horsemen”
Transition, although it is a journey, not a switch, does, in some ways, go from us being in a place we don’t like, don’t want to be in, and another – a place where we feel good about who we are, and where we are going. In that old place, we probably didn’t like, orContinue reading “Learning to Love Who You Were”
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