Trans Resilience is…

Contemplative Practices to Build Self-love and Self-compassion

I often teach two specific forms of Buddhist contemplative practice, Metta (the pali word for lovingkindness) and Karuna (the pali word for compassion.) The Metta practice I teach is geared toward developing lovingkindness toward ourselves. The Karuna practice is geared toward developing self-compassion. They are very similar ideas, but slightly different practices. And some peopleContinue reading “Contemplative Practices to Build Self-love and Self-compassion”

Heart drawn in sand

Validation as a Trans & Gender-expansive Person

When we are young, the first place we look toward for validation is our parents and family. If we have a functional family, we get confirmation that we are lovable and loved, and that helps to define a healthy sense of self. It is a natural human habit to look to others, whether family, friends,Continue reading “Validation as a Trans & Gender-expansive Person”

body outline with molecules and other things coming out conscious embodiment

What is Conscious Embodiment?

Conscious embodiment is a process, not a destination. Most of us will probably never become fully consciously embodied – but we can get very close. It’s especially hard for trans and gender-expansive people, because our bodies have so often been places of both inner and outer conflict. Are you aware of what’s happening in yourContinue reading “What is Conscious Embodiment?”

Older black man with light beard smiling in a t-shirt transition

Coming Late to the Party: Transition Later in Life

A lot of attention has been paid of late to the increased number of kids and teenagers who transition. What hasn’t been noticed as much is the increasing number of people who are over 40 or so who are transitioning now. I transitioned at 57, after a life-long struggle with loving my own body. ManyContinue reading “Coming Late to the Party: Transition Later in Life”

Sand with candle and stones

Finding Spiritual Community

Many trans and gender expansive people have left the spiritual traditions they grew up in because they were rejected by them. And many have no interest in spiritual community at all – sometimes it’s because of the way they were harmed in the spiritual communities they inhabited, and sometimes it’s just something not of particularContinue reading “Finding Spiritual Community”

Do You Have a Cis Partner?

It’s not at all uncommon for trans and gender-expansive folks to have cis partners, as I do. Sometimes, navigating issues of gender with a cis partner can be complex, especially if that partner is one that was with you before transition. Talking About Gender I sometimes forget that I have no idea what it’s likeContinue reading “Do You Have a Cis Partner?”

Hello my name is nametag - red

What’s in a Name?

One of the most common things that trans and gender expansive folks do is change our names. Changing our name is often a way of living more into our authentic selves. Some change names in a very minor way – just a letter or two to change from one that is generally associated with oneContinue reading “What’s in a Name?”

A masculine person in boxer briefs points toward their groin, possibly wearing prosthetics

Binding, Tucking, & Prosthetics

One of the truths about secondary sex characteristics is that very often, you can obviously see them. Another reality is that for many trans and gender-expansive folks, the presence of some characteristics, or the lack of others, makes us feel dysphoric. Unless and until we choose hormonal and/or surgical transition, it can be important toContinue reading “Binding, Tucking, & Prosthetics”

Photo of destruction and pollution, a dried landscape, broken fence, example of the results of the four horsemen

The Four Horsemen

Relationship researcher John Gottman can identify relationships that will end by the presence of what he calls “The Four Horsemen.” The Four Horsemen of Christian Apocalyptic legend brought on the end of the world, and these four horsemen will bring on the end of your relationship, for sure. The Four Horsemen are: Criticism – thisContinue reading “The Four Horsemen”


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