Trans Resilience is…
What is “trans resilience”?
I love the word “resilience.” Webster’s has two definitions. The first is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” The second one is more interesting: “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.” At first look, it seems likeContinue reading “What is “trans resilience”?”
Binding, Tucking, & Prosthetics
One of the truths about secondary sex characteristics is that very often, you can obviously see them. Another reality is that for many trans and gender-expansive folks, the presence of some characteristics, or the lack of others, makes us feel dysphoric. Unless and until we choose hormonal and/or surgical transition, it can be important toContinue reading “Binding, Tucking, & Prosthetics”
The Four Horsemen
Relationship researcher John Gottman can identify relationships that will end by the presence of what he calls “The Four Horsemen.” The Four Horsemen of Christian Apocalyptic legend brought on the end of the world, and these four horsemen will bring on the end of your relationship, for sure. The Four Horsemen are: Criticism – thisContinue reading “The Four Horsemen”
Learning to Love Who You Were
Transition, although it is a journey, not a switch, does, in some ways, go from us being in a place we don’t like, don’t want to be in, and another – a place where we feel good about who we are, and where we are going. In that old place, we probably didn’t like, orContinue reading “Learning to Love Who You Were”
To Stealth or Not To Stealth
Some trans people live in a way that is often called “stealth.” That is, they are not out as trans to most (or perhaps any) people in their lives. Most trans people change their names, but some have moved to different towns where no one knows them, taken new jobs, and have not come outContinue reading “To Stealth or Not To Stealth”
Transition: Finding Your Way
Transition can be a chaotic process. There are so many things happening in parallel. There’s the social transition part, which involves coming out to friends and family, potentially changing your appearance in some ways, often using a different name, and using different pronouns. This involves navigating different relationships, and how much you disclose to peopleContinue reading “Transition: Finding Your Way”
Losing Lesbian Identity
I’ve been thinking about this topic for a long time, and a friend recently posted a question about this on Facebook, so I thought I’d dive into this topic. I think, really, this topic is about losing one identity, while gaining another. For me, it was going from identifying as a lesbian, to identifying asContinue reading “Losing Lesbian Identity”
It’s the Journey, not the Destination
I remember the first time I gave myself a shot of Testosterone. I’d been to the clinic a few times before to get the shot administered, and to teach me how to do sub-cutaneous injections, but this seemed special. I felt like I was on my way to the destination – to finally change intoContinue reading “It’s the Journey, not the Destination”
Sexuality Can Change With Transition
When I first started coming out as trans, and was introduced to trans community, one of the things I learned was that many trans people’s sexuality changes with transition. That anecdotal information is backed up by science. Several studies have shown that changes in sexuality are relatively common among trans people. For some (this isContinue reading “Sexuality Can Change With Transition”
Changes in Libido
After I decided to transition, but before I started Testosterone, I noticed changes in my libido. And then, about a month after I started Testosterone, my libido reached heights I never would have imagined. I was aroused, basically all of the time. It was actually annoying, as well as quite exciting. Of course, Testosterone asContinue reading “Changes in Libido”
Complexities of Gender Identity
If you haven’t ever heard of Lou Sullivan, you should read a little about him. He is considered probably to be the first out gay trans man. For a long time, he was denied gender reassignment surgery because of his sexuality. Back then, gender and sexuality were conflated. If you were assigned one gender atContinue reading “Complexities of Gender Identity”
Gender Expression and Presentation
Because of our society’s bias toward the gender binary, and the policing of gender norms, a lot of trans people, as well as non-binary, gender-expansive, gender-queer, people feel the need to limit their gender expression. It’s important to point out that gender identity and gender expression are two separate things. You can choose to presentContinue reading “Gender Expression and Presentation”
Dating While Trans in a Pandemic
I haven’t yet had a chance to write a standard “dating while trans” post here, and given that there is a pandemic on, and that changes dating immensely, I figured I would talk a little about both. Some people have simply chosen to hold off on dating completely now, and I think that’s a rationalContinue reading “Dating While Trans in a Pandemic”
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